Back in the day, there weren’t many options when it came to wedding party attire: all the ladies were going to wear the same (hideous) dress and all the guys were going to wear matching tuxedos. But we have so many more options now! So I’m here today to tell you how to dress your wedding party, or at least to lay out your options. Which option you choose is up to you.

Before we jump into the good stuff, just a reminder that we’re not using the term “bridal party” anymore. There’s more to a wedding than just a bride! Sorry, ladies, but you know it’s true. And some weddings don’t even have a bride. So “bridal party” is out and “wedding party” is in.

TL;DR here’s the video version

Attire Options for the Ladies

Dressing all the women in your wedding party has so much more flexibility than it used to, and bridesmaid dresses have come a long way since the frou-frou ruffled pastel abominations of the 1980s. Here are four routes you can take when it comes to bridesmaid attire:

1. All ladies dress in the same color but choose their own style based on their body type and what flatters them. This approach is easier if you choose a specific dress designer and a specific color from that designer and ask everyone to just pick their favorite dress in that color from that designer. This is the only way to ensure that everyone really is wearing the same shade because one designer’s “claret” is another’s “ruby.”

2. Choose an overarching color, say, blue, and ask your attendants to dress in their preferred shade of blue. Some might be in navy, some in royal blue, and some in sky blue.

3. If you want slightly more control over the final look, you can arrange an ombré color scheme. Each person would choose their ideal shade, and then you coordinate to make sure you have the right number of people in each color/shade. For example, your maid of honor could wear burgundy, the next bridesmaid could wear deep red, then one would wear a mid-range red, and the final bridesmaid would wear pink. Option #3 is a bit more work than #2.

4. You can also ask your bridesmaids to all wear the same color but choose a different, complementary color for your maid of honor. This concept can also be achieved by giving your MOH a different bouquet from the other attendants.

When it comes to shoes, neutral is best. Think metallics, beige or “nude for you”, or even black, depending on the color of your dresses. It’s not 1989—we’re not wearing dyeable shoes in the exact shade of our dresses anymore. (Thankfully!)

All your attendants should wear the same color shoe, especially if they’re not wearing full-length gowns. Their shoes will be in a lot of photos, and you want them to complement each other. They don’t have to wear the same style of shoe, but the same color is helpful.

And remember, ladies aren’t just limited to dresses anymore. There are a lot of cute dressy jumper/romper/pantsuits out there!

Attire Options for the Guys

Guys have slightly fewer options than the ladies when it comes to attire.

1. Tuxedos. The classic. Usually black, but can also be navy, grey, burgundy, or even white. Generally, all the men wear the same color and style of tuxedo. Then the groom’s tie and potentially vest are a different color than the groomsmen’s. Or the groom can wear a different color jacket than the other guys.

2. Suits. Follows the same basic idea as tuxedos. If you’re not wearing three-piece suits (meaning, no vest), then the tie and pocket square are your best options for differentiating the groom from the other guys.

3. Trousers with either a shirt and vest or a shirt and suspenders. A more casual look for an outdoor ranch wedding. I don’t recommend forgoing either a vest or suspenders. You need something to attach the boutonnières to, and they will hang awkwardly if you try to pin them to a shirt.

4. Linen pants and shirts. Perfect for a beach wedding with flip-flops!

Men’s shoes are actually more complicated than women’s, believe it or not. There are certain shoe/suit color combinations that you want to avoid. Here’s a list of which colors work together:

1. Tuxedo: shiny, black shoes. Always.

2. Black suit: black shoes.

3. Navy suit: black, brown, or burgundy/cordovan shoes.

4. Dark grey suit: black or burgundy/cordovan shoes.

5. Light grey suit: black, brown, or burgundy/cordovan shoes.

6. Tan suit: brown shoes.

Two important notes to remember: you wear a belt OR suspenders, not both. And cummerbunds are so 1980s. If someone tries to tell you that a tuxedo with a cummerbund is a good look for your wedding, run.

How to Dress Mixed-Gender Wedding Parties

Having ladies on the groom’s side and guys on the bride’s side is a growing trend, kicked off by same-sex couples. If this is your situation, feel free to have all the ladies dress similarly regardless of whose “side” they’re on. Or you can choose to differentiate a bridesmaid from a groomsmaid (or groomswoman, or whatever clever portmanteau you come up with).

The same goes for the guys. If all the groomsmen are wearing navy suits, then it makes sense for the bridesman to do the same. But maybe you choose a different color of tie/pocket square for the bridesman to set him off from the groomsmen.

How to Dress Same-Sex Wedding Attendants

Just like opposite-sex wedding attendants! You don’t have to complicate this too much. Do what feels right for you and your people. Here are a few possibilities just to get your brainstorming going:

1. Two brides, all female attendants. Maybe one bride’s ‘maids all wear one color and the other bride’s attendants all wear a different color.

2. Two brides, mixed-gender attendants. All the guys wear the same color suit, but bride 1’s guys wear deep purple ties and pocket squares her ladies wear dresses in a shade that matches the guys’ ties. Bride 2’s guys wear lavender ties and pocket squares and her gals wear lavender too.

3. Two brides where one is wearing a dress and the other is wearing a suit. Maybe the bride wearing a dress has all of her attendants wear dresses as well, and the bride wearing a suit has her attendants wearing pantsuits or jumpers.

4. Two grooms, all male attendants. Use different colors of accessories to differentiate everyone. Perhaps the two grooms wear the same colors, groom 1’s guys wear a different color, and groom 2’s guys wear yet a different color.

5. Two grooms, mixed-gender attendants. Do something similar to option 2 above.

6. How to differentiate two grooms from each other, if they don’t want to be twinsies. Different colored accessories is the easiest way. But maybe one wears a navy suit and the other wears grey. Or one wears a full black tuxedo while the other wears black pants with a white jacket.

Style is very personal, and your wedding is also very personal. So your wedding style should be a reflection of your personalities.

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