Recent times have definitely not been easy for couples. For many engaged lovebirds, the current state of the pandemic has brought with it many unexpected challenges, probably most common of which is the case of postponed weddings.
Having this to deal with this is not an easy thing to accept, especially for those who really put in blood, sweat, and tears just to make sure that they get the perfect celebration. If you're one of these couples, then know that you have every right to feel bogged down by the situation.
However, don't forget that you also have not entirely lost control of your plans. You just need a little re-framing of perspective and a good solid set of steps to get yourself moving again.
Below are tips that can keep you grounded during this time of uncertainty.
1. Change your perspective.
No, you are not quitting the engagement, you are just moving your wedding into a better schedule. You and your partner are not "over and done," you are just having a change of plans. See how we changed things up a bit there? Don't they sound just a little bit more optimistic?
The way you look at the situation can very much affect how you react to things so this should be your first step if you want to do your Plan B well. There is a lot about the current situation that is entirely out of our control but there are also things that we can directly influence; in this case, the way we look at things.
2. Get the hardest chunk of work out of the way first.
This will depend on what you perceive is the hardest part to address in your postponed wedding. For some, it's adjusting the budget, while for others, it's actually communicating the change of plans to their guests.
Look, it is normal for you to feel like doing these things is the last thing you want to do, but getting the ugliest, hardest portion of work early on can actually make you feel a lot better. It can also keep you on track for your new plans. Usually, the harder a task is to deal with, the more time-bound it is.
3. Take things slowly.
Just because it is better for you to take care of heavy tasks early on doesn't mean you should take on everything all at once. The key word here is to prioritize. Divide everything you have to do according to level of importance and take on everything little by little.
For example, contacting your wedding vendors is at a different level of importance than changing the seasonal menu at your reception. The last thing you need is to feel overwhelmed when you are already being slowed down by your disappointment about your postponed ceremony, so make sure to take it easy and be gentle on yourself.
Moreover, divide the work properly between you and your partner (if you don't have a wedding coordinator to do it for you). This is a lot of work you'll be tackling (from making the inventory to drawing a new plan altogether) so make sure you are not the only one fussing over it.
It doesn't matter if your partner says they are not good with coordination or organization. Explain to them why they need to do their part, otherwise, you'll probably feel a lot of frustration once you realize you are the only one taking care of everything.
4. Keep the future in mind, but do not forget to consider the present.
One of the best ways to deal with anxiety caused by the pandemic is to acknowledge that while everything that is happening right now is very real, it is only temporary. That might be difficult to internalize at the moment, so one way that can help you actually put yourself in this frame of mind is to come up with future plans for your wedding.
Come up with a list of new wedding venues if your original one is no longer an option, for example. When planning, however, don't forget to leave room for possible adjustments based on the present.
For example, you may need to change your entire wedding set up so that guests are not cramped close together. Should you put in place other protocols or entirely slash out parts of the reception like the father-daughter dance? Do you have to skip opening the dance floor, too?
We know that modifying plans you've worked so hard on maybe the last thing you need to do with all the hassle brought by the situation, but expect that things won't come back to the same level of normal we've had before at least pretty soon. Remember to be flexible.
5. Don't let the worries get in the way of your relationship with your future spouse.
If you think about it, almost every situation the quarantine has brought has stacked all the cards against couples. You cancelled your wedding, you have a ton of work to do, and you are either stuck with or apart from your significant other, both of which have impacts on communication. For times like this, work harder on your relationship more than ever.
Spend time together using alternative ways if you are apart or make adjustments to give yourselves space here and there if you are living together.
Do fun things together or spin the situation into something more positive by starting a mini project you can work on as a team. Already have copies of your engagement photos? Why not sort through them and submit them to an online photo album provider? Didn't have a chance to have your engagement shoot before everything went on lockdown? No problem. Take your own photos at home detailing your everyday lockdown life. You can compile it together and have it as part of your future wedding presentations. It's simple, unique, but totally sweet.
The pandemic that has taken over the world may have brought with it a tide of less than appealing situations, but it is up to you as a couple to soldier through this together. Remember, it's only your wedding ceremony, not your love that is put on hold. You can do this.
This post was written by staff on behalf of MILK Books. Risa James Events has no financial relationship with MILK Books.