There are three non-negotiable requirements to have a marriage ceremony: consent by both parties, a valid license, and someone to solemnize the marriage. The person who has the authority to solemnize the marriage is your wedding officiant. So how do you choose a wedding officiant?

Who can officiate a wedding?

There are essentially four categories of people who can legally officiate a wedding:

1) a clergy person ordained by a religious organization;
2) a federal or state official, such as a judge or justice of the peace;
3) a professional wedding officiant not affiliated with a house of worship or employed by a government entity; or
4) a friend or family member.

The first three categories of officiant can perform marriages in any state, but there may be limitations on whether a friend or family member can be ordained online and then legally perform your wedding ceremony. So be sure to check your state laws before deciding on this route. Ask your wedding planner/coordinator, or Google it.

TL;DR here’s the video version

Ordained Clergy

Ordained clergy are priests, rabbis, ministers—people who are affiliated with a religious sect and lead a congregation regularly in worship at a house of worship. Depending on the religion, clergy members may be willing to perform your ceremony somewhere other than in the house of worship (church, synagogue, mosque, etc.) or they may require your ceremony to take place in the official house of worship.

The Catholic Church, in particular, frowns upon marriages held outside of an actual Catholic Church. I have had Catholic clients who had two wedding ceremonies: the sacramental one at their church led by their priest, and then a separate one led by someone else at an off-site location.

Muslim and Jewish weddings are not generally required to be held in a house of worship, but only you know for sure the limitations and restrictions of your religions. Speak with your clergy person if you have questions or concerns.

Very few of my clients have ceremonies in houses of worship these days. It’s much more common to hold the ceremony and reception in the same location, regardless of who’s performing the ceremony.

Government Officials

If you are eloping at the city or county courthouse, you’re more likely to have a judge or justice of the peace presiding at your wedding ceremony. They are authorized by law to solemnize marriages. (The solemnization is the part where the officiant says, “By the power vested in me by the State of [insert state name] I now pronounce you [insert “married” or “husband and wife” or “wife and wife” etc.].)

But eloping in the courthouse isn’t the only way to have a judge or justice of the peace as your officiant. I’ve had several attorney clients, and one of them asked the judge she clerked for to officiate her wedding. So if you’ve clerked for, worked for, or just know a judge, ask them if they’d be willing to officiate your wedding!

Friend or Family Member

This has become the most common choice for many couples getting married today. What’s great about it is that you can choose someone who’s very close to you to be a special part of your wedding day. One of my brothers officiated my wedding, and then I officiated his a few years later.

However, check your state laws! Not all states will allow just anyone to become ordained and officiate a wedding. Some states allow it only “temporarily” for one wedding; others allow anyone ordained at any time in the past to conduct weddings. Some states don’t allow it at all. When I started out as a wedding planner in Washington, D.C., Virginia was one of those states.

Getting ordained is super easy. The two sites I recommend to my clients are Universal Life Church (where I’m ordained) and American Marriage Ministries. Ordination is free and fast. (I feel like an infomercial right now, lol.)

Some organizations will tell you that you need to order a certificate or other paraphernalia. You probably don’t. In California, Pennsylvania, and Washington, D.C. (the three places where I have experience with this topic), no “proof of ordination” is required. The officiant signs the marriage license in the appropriate place, enters “minister” as their occupation, and lists the name of the entity that ordained them. That’s it. No certification number, no certificate necessary.

Professional Wedding Officiant

I saved this category for last because I have the most information to impart, thanks to my friend and frequent wedding collaborator, Erin Summ of As You Wish Weddings (that’s her in the photo at the top of this post). Erin is my favorite Sacramento wedding officiant, so I reached out to her to get her thoughts on the benefits of hiring a professional wedding officiant and what to look for when searching for one.

The Pros of Hiring a Pro

• Pros know how to deal with mishaps, such as the sound cutting out or a microphone failing mid-ceremony. They won’t get flustered when things go awry.

• They are trained public speakers. They know how to enunciate and project so that everyone can hear them.

• There’s no chance they’ll get stage fright and cancel on you at the last minute! Erin said she’s gotten many panicked emails over the years from couples who thought a friend was going to officiate, until that friend freaked out and changed their mind.

• They know how to properly sign the marriage license. States are VERY particular when it comes to official documents like marriage licenses. Any mistakes and you have to go back to the county clerk and get a new license and start all over again!

• They can make your ceremony as personal as you want it to be. They have experience with lots of wedding ceremonies and can craft something that’s uniquely “you.”

What to Ask a Prospective Officiant

• Do they have any sample ceremonies that you can build from and customize for your own ceremony? Every ceremony is different, but most of them include standard elements. It can help if you’re not starting from scratch.

• Will they help you design special elements and vows? Erin and I worked with a mutual client once to incorporate a poem about butterflies and a live butterfly release during a ceremony! Erin will also ask each half of the couple (privately) what they love about the other person so she can incorporate it into the ceremony script as a surprise.

• Will they take care of mailing the paperwork after the ceremony? This is especially important if you’re leaving for your honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Can you trust someone in your family to get your marriage license mailed in? Better to leave it to a responsible professional.

• Do they have reviews from past clients that you can read?

• What is their fee, and what’s included? Is there a travel fee or an additional fee for the rehearsal?

• And one final question that’s really for you: are you comfortable with this person? Your marriage ceremony is the most intimate portion of your wedding day. You want to be sure you connect with your officiant on a personal level. I recommend meeting with them, if possible. If not, then at least a phone call is required.

So there you have it, all my best information about your options for a wedding officiant. If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments below. And if you want these blog posts delivered right to your inbox, join the Insider’s Club here. Happy planning!