Traditional invitation wording doesn’t cut it for today’s couple. What if there are divorced parents? Remarried parents? Two brides? No brides? Here’s some advice to help you navigate your wedding invitation wording.

Back in the “olden days,” weddings were hosted by the bride’s parents, and the invitations were issued in their names.

Mr. & Mrs. Steven R. Smith

Request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter

Suzanne Marie

to

Mr. Thomas L. Stevens

So what are the problems with this? Well, the groom’s parents and the bride’s mother aren’t mentioned at all. Being “Mrs. Steven R. Smith” isn’t exactly being recognized for the important role of Mother of the Bride. And what if the bride has a different last name from her parents? (It happens.)

With the increase in the number of couples paying for all or some of their wedding themselves, not to mention the nationwide legalization of same-sex marriage, invitation wording needs an update to modern times.

Here are a few updated options:

Both sets of parents hosting, no divorced parents

Steven & Marie Smith

and

Lawrence & Cheryl Stevens

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Suzanne Marie

and

Thomas Lawrence

Both sets of parents hosting, one set of parents divorced, not remarried

Marie Smith and Steven Smith

with

Lawrence & Cheryl Stevens

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Suzanne Marie

and

Lauren Renée

If you have a situation where both sets of parents are divorced, or there are any remarriages, it’s best to leave the parents’ names off the invitation altogether. You want to keep the focus of the invitation on the couple getting married. A laundry list of parents’ names will detract from that.

Example:

Together with their families

Suzanne M. Smith

and

Thomas L. Stevens

Invite you to join them as they celebrate their marriage

Or:

Together with their parents

Suzanne Marie Smith

and

Lauren Renée Stevens

Request the pleasure of your company at their wedding

A note on the request line: traditionally, “the honour of your presence” (British spelling) was requested for ceremonies taking place in a house of worship and “the pleasure of your company” was requested for ceremonies taking place elsewhere. “Honour of your presence” is very formal and a little stilted, so it has fallen by the wayside to some extent.

For same-sex couples whose parents are not involved in their lives or their weddings, you can dispense with the first line altogether and go directly to the couple’s names:

Lawrence Thomas Stevens

and

Paul Philip McCarthy

Invite you to a celebration of their marriage

The default invitation templates on most websites still hew toward the traditional, so feel free to change them as necessary to fit your unique situation. And if you have a question about your situation, feel free to leave it in the comments. I’m happy to provide case-by-case advice on how best to word a tricky case.

TL;DR here’s a video link

This post was written by Sacramento wedding planner Risa Weaver-Enion. If you're feeling overwhelmed by planning your wedding, we are here to help! Read more about what we do on our Welcome and Packages pages. Email risa@risajamesevents.com if you have questions or want to inquire about getting help with wedding planning. And if you'd like to have future blog posts delivered to your inbox, please join our Insider’s Club on the Welcome page.